It's a BOY!

That's right, folks!  We will be welcoming our third son to the family and we couldn't be happier!  Weber is particularly satisfied that she will remain Daddy's Little Girl forever.  

First and foremost, this baby is healthy, from what we can tell via ultrasound.  Everyone focuses on the 20 week ultrasound as the big boy/girl disclosure, but we know that for so many families this is a moment of life-altering news about their child's health.  I have always gone into these halfway ultrasounds with that tentative excitement, truly praying for healthy over all.  We are just so thankful for that most important good news, more than pink or blue!  

I have to admit, I would have put money on this baby being a girl.  Not because we were trying for one or because I really wanted one more than a boy, but that was just my gut feeling.  Even Riggs and Rhett thought it was a girl!  This pregnancy has been so very different from my others and I bought into the wives tales thinking that indicated a different baby too!  I've always been a bit intimidated by the idea of a daughter, and always wanted to be a boy mom, but this time around I had started to come around to the idea of all the unique joys of having a girl and had gotten a little excited about about that possibility.  This was a huge change for me as in my previous pregnancies I was downright anxious about that possibility!  (No offense to my girl mama friends!)

When the ultrasound tech announced "It's a boy!" out of nowhere and without warning, I was just stunned.  Not upset or sad, just shocked!  My gut feeling was totally wrong!  (I had similar feelings about Riggs being a boy so I guess I was a bit overconfident in my accuracy record!).  It took me a few minutes to process reality, but thankfully Baby Boy left zero question about his anatomy!  Jonathan, on the other hand, immediately started belly laughing.  He has said it was a third boy all along, so this just confirmed his instincts and he was thrilled!  

Once the shock wore off, I did allow myself a moment to process.  It's hard to articulate, because I am really and truly excited to have another boy.  But there was also a small part of me that had to acknowledge that since this is probably our last baby I will never have a daughter.  I just had to take a minute to let go of everything that goes with that.  Once Jonathan and I got to chat about that in the car afterward, I was good to go and able to fully embrace my joy over this little boy!

We got to enjoy a celebratory date night together at Whisky Cake (a delicious virgin cocktail for me, fried green tomatoes, mussels with chorizo and fennel, lamb french dip, and whisky cake of course!) and talked and laughed about our future with three little boys.  We reflected on how amazing it was that God knew our plans to move back to Oklahoma and live in a cute little historic home in Midtown were totally not what we needed, and led us so perfectly to our home out in the country that will be perfect for three boys.  A few months ago we had a builder come out to confirm whether or not our attic could be refinished into a bonus room in the future, so we laughed that we'll now really need that attic room as a man cave for these three fellas!  (Gotta keep the boy smells confined if I can, right? ;)  We talked about the huge responsibility of raising men who will love God, their families, and their communities.  We dreamed about the bond these brothers will share as they grow together.  And then we high tailed it over to Full Circle Bookstore to flip through some baby name books since we have NO EARTHLY IDEA what we are going to name this sweet child!  Suggestions welcome!  

Thankfully, Riggins and Rhett were excited about the news of their baby brother too!  Since Riggins was so confident he was having a sister, I worried about his reaction, but he didn't skip a beat!  It has been fun to experience pregnancy with a child who is old enough to have some understanding (although he did try to look at the baby through my belly button the other day, so we're not totally there ;)

Baby boy, we love you so much already and look forward to meeting you soon.  Thanks for officially making me a full-blown Boy Mom!  

Halfway the Hard Way

Goodness gracious, I am 20 weeks pregnant today!  I'm in that strange land where I feel like I've been pregnant forever and that it has flown by all at the same time.  Honestly, this go-round has been my toughest yet, so I haven't been doing a lot of picture-taking, memory-recording, or reflecting.  I need to change that now that I'm halfway there and (fingers crossed, Lord willing, yada yada) hopefully almost out of the woods of these difficult first few months.  

First bathroom bump pic at around 13 weeks.  

So let's start with the positives.  The baby has been perfectly healthy and the pregnancy itself has been totally boring.  Nothing wrong with the baby or my ability to carry the baby, so for that I am completely grateful.  And, hello, I'm pregnant.  An undeserved gift that I will never take for granted!  

Nevertheless, my wise counselor of a brother-in-law always says that while you can certainly always find someone with a worse situation, it's important not to minimize your own pain.  And, y'all, the last few months have been painful for me.  As I mentioned in my first post about this pregnancy, I have been sicker this time around.  I've always experienced the fairly constant nausea and occasional vomiting, but this time the vomiting was much more frequent.  In early March I had one scary Saturday where I started vomiting from letting my stomach get too empty and then just couldn't stop.  From 3 to midnight I couldn't keep down foods or liquids, and it wasn't a stomach bug; just pure morning sickness.  Thank goodness we have a dear friend who is an OB who was able to give us counsel and recommend an over the counter solution that calmed the nausea and kept us from a trip to the hospital.  

The day before that happened, March 13th, I woke up with red, irritated eyes.  Jonathan brought me into the office and diagnosed classic allergic conjunctivitis.  He and his colleagues got me hooked up with all the best drugs that are still appropriate for pregnant women, and although things got worse before they got better, we started to see improvement.  Then about a week later, I spent some time outside and flared up even worse than before.  For a person who had never suffered from anything allergy related, it was a sudden and extreme reaction.  Jonathan and his partners declared it to be the worst case of allergic conjunctivitis they had ever seen (and these guys have seen a lot of crazy stuff!).  My conjunctiva (the white area of your eye) was swelling up over my iris.  Jonathan took one look through the slit lamp and my sweet minister's son hubby said curse words...that's when I knew it was bad! The really strange thing was that it also affected my lids, making them hugely swollen, puffy, and droopy.  Furthermore, none of the typical meds were touching it, and the slightest irritation would cause another flare up, even with those drugs in my system.  

I can't really explain the pain and discomfort, but it was as miserable as it looked!  I had never experienced anything like it, but if you've ever had significant eye trouble you know if affects everything.  On the worst days it was so disabling that I couldn't drive, go to work, or do anything but lay in bed with ice packs on my face.  On the best days it still made me want to claw my eyes out, and that constant level of irritation made me irritated with everything and everyone.  I was not a good wife or mommy, I knew it, I couldn't help it, and it made me crazy.  I would go several days thinking "Things could be so much worse!  This is temporary! You're ok!  Laugh at yourself!"  And then the frustration and pain would reach a threshold and I'd break down.  In order to resist further flare ups I have not been able to go outside unless absolutely necessary.  Missing out on these beautiful spring days with my boys really breaks my heart!  Not to mention the vanity aspect of feeling like I am getting fatter and uglier by the day, and the guilt and sadness not enjoying what will probably be my last pregnancy.  It has certainly been an exercise in humility and dependence on the Lord and those who love me.  

I finally saw an allergist last week who confirmed our suspicion that this has all been caused by my sudden high exposure to red cedar pollen during a record high year in Oklahoma and my first spring living in a house out in the country surrounded by red cedar.  Combined with the wacky effects pregnancy can have on your immune system, it was the perfect storm for an extreme, severe reaction.  Yay!  He is going to conduct allergy testing next week so that we can start a plan of preventative treatment for the future.  Until then, after avoiding oral steroids out of concern for the baby I reached my ultimate desperation point where something more just had to be done.  We are fortunate to have knowledgable friends in the medical field (we have smart friends, people, and we are so thankful!) who worked together to figure out a med dosage that is perfectly safe for baby and yet packs a punch to kick this junk to the curb!  I am SO DONE!  

But enough of that!  There have still been plenty of bright spots in the last few months!  I started feeling the baby move at around 16 weeks, celebrated Rhett's 2nd birthday, and have continued teaching my class at OBU with an incredible group of students who have been so kind and flexible as I've dealt with all this junk.  They have been such an unexpected joy this semester!  And of course, I still get to spend each day with Riggs and Rhett, who have been so sweet about mommy's "Owie eyes."  And Jonathan...oh my stars...this man wins all the prizes.  As miserable as I have been, I realize that this bump in the road has majorly affected his life as well, and he has risen to the occasion with flying colors.  He has carried more than his fair share of the weight, cooking, cleaning, playing with the boys, doing the evening routine, coming home at lunch to help.  All while providing medical care to me AND all of his patients during some of his busiest months at the practice yet.  Oh, and let's not forget graciously loving a wife who fluctuates between snappy and irritable, optimistic and strong, and depressed and weepy.  

So, I'm grasping for the good stuff, hopeful about this new treatment, and looking forward to a more enjoyable and uneventful second half of this pregnancy!  I've had a few talks with this baby about how mommy is taking one for the team and he better hold up his end of the bargain when he arrives: no colic and sleeping through the night ASAP, please, my darling!  

Photos taken at around 16-17 weeks when I thought I was out of the woods!  Jonathan's practice is a supporter of our public school district's foundation, and we got to attend their annual banquet.  I've also tried to attend Jazzercise when the thought of my face getting hot and sweaty doesn't make me curl up in the fetal position.  

One of the scary photos on the right up top was taken on Thursday.  This picture below was taken this morning, Saturday, after only 3 doses of my current med.  Seeing a huge improvement and praying it lasts!  Also, this is Linda Curry, a dear family friend who made our wedding cake almost 10 years ago.  The other night I confessed a wedding cake craving on Facebook, and this morning Linda rang my doorbell and delivered a wedding cake just for my own indulgence!  (Although Lord knows I'll have to share, or HELLO gestational diabetes!) If that's not the picture of servanthood and using your gifts to minister to others, I don't know what is!  See?  Lots to be joyful about and thankful for. 

Rhett is TWO!

April 5, 2014

Dear Rhett,

Happy birthday, little buddy!  Two years ago you entered the world in a whirlwind, giving me what might just be one of my favorite life moments to date.  You've continued to live up to your grand entrance, bringing lots of humor, passion, and sweetness to our family.  At two years old, you are very sweet, affectionate, and tender-hearted, while also being very spunky, strong, and funny.  You are always up for snuggling, especially after waking up.  You adore your big brother, "Riggy," and we joke that you're on a 15 second delay of doing or saying everything he does or says!  The two of you are becoming such good buds.  Although you are very easy going and sweet, you have quite the temper  once something sets you off!  

 At two years old you weigh 30.5 pounds (75th percentile) and are 36.5 inches long (90th percentile).  You wear size 24 month or 2T clothing, a size 7 shoe, and a size 5 diaper.  You sleep from about 8pm to 7am each night and nap every afternoon from about 1-3 or 4.  We just bought bunk beds so this past week we started trying out the toddler bed.  You're popping up like a jack-in-a-box a few times each night after we put you down, but after that you're out til morning.  You'll get the hang of it soon!  

Like the average toddler, you are a temperamental eater; somedays you are a bottomless pit and will eat anything, and other days you are super picky.  You consistently love cheese, apples, bananas, cereal, Kashi bars, green beans, grapes, tomatoes, mac and cheese, and hot dogs.  You're often heard saying, "NACK!" and you want to be fed as soon as you wake up in the morning, just like your Daddy!  

   

Developmentally, you are quite talkative and have begun stringing together short sentences and repeating everything we say.  You can count to ten and have recently shown interest in learning letters.  My favorite thing is to hear you having conversations with Riggs as you play.  You have a low, raspy voice when you're being serious, and a precious higher voice when you're being sweet or funny.  These days we hear a lot of "no," "me do it!," "hold you," and "mine!"  You also  love to sing!  

 You love to be outside!  I am thankful that our home allows me to let you out in the back yard and still keep an eye on you, and I love to watch you exploring.  You are so content to play on your own out there, just walking the yard, digging in your sand box, rolling your trucks, and riding in the Jeep with Riggins.  You also love listening to music, rolling cars up and down the halls and walls, playing chase ("race me!"), and reading stories.  Favorite books are Pete the Cat, Goodnight Moon, and Llama Llama books.  You also remind me to read our "Bible stowee" every morning at breakfast.  You like to watch TroTro, Daniel Tiger, and Leap Frog shows, and you enjoy big brother's Rescue Bots and Jake and the Neverland Pirates too (the theme song from which you've been known to yell at the top of your lungs through the grocery store!)

Speaking of big brothers, you're going to be one!  We found out in January that a new baby is on the way, and the day before your birthday we found out it's another boy!  Knowing your affectionate and tender heart, I'm so looking forward to watching you as a big brother; I have a feeling you're going to be extra sweet!  I think you three boys are going to be such a gift to one another and I feel so blessed to get to witness the special bond between brothers.  

Rhett, you are such a precious boy.  Everyone who meets you comments on what a sweetheart you are.  Your teachers at church, MDO, and BSF just rave about you every time we pick you up from somewhere, so apparently we aren't the only ones who think you're a little jewel of a guy!  We love you so much, Rhett Matthew, and pray for many, many more birthdays shared together!