Stinky Wreath

Ok, blog world. I am coming to you with a very urgent dilemma.

I'm sure many of you have or have had something like this in your home:

A nice, innocent faux berry wreath. We have had two in the past five years. The first was a lovely blend of reds, oranges, and yellows that I purchased with a wedding gift card at Pier 1 in our first year of marriage (when I hung it on the screened-in porch in this house we discovered that Weber liked to eat the berries when waiting to be let inside, so the poor thing had to go. The wreath, that is...not the dog). The second is a lovely brown combination from Garden Ridge that currently hangs in front of a mirror on our mantle. I love it.

But they have both had this problem, you see.

After awhile, they start to stink!

And it has been the SAME SMELL from both wreaths. I can't quite pinpoint it, but it is not a nice smell. It is quite a gross smell, really, and in our tiny living room it can be quite noticeable when you walk in from being out of the house all day.

We have several theories. One is that heat somehow activates some chemical used on the berries that has a foul odor. Our first berry wreath stunk when it hung on our front door in Texas, but then I also had it hung over the kitchen sink for a time and could still smell it there on occasion (which would make you think that temperature didn't have anything to do with it). Jonathan is convinced that our current wreath started to stink soon after we lit our first fire in the fireplace. I think it might have started before that, but I can't be sure.

Regardless of the cause, I would argue that the average faux berry wreath should not stink under any circumstances! I definitely can't tolerate the smell, but I love this wreath so much (and don't want to buy a new one) that I am hoping to find a solution.

So, bloggers...tell me this: have any of you had a stinky wreath like these? Any idea what might cause the decorative stench? Any solutions? (I have already Febreezed it to no avail. Other thoughts include "sealing" it with hairspray, searching the florist section of Hobby Lobby to see if there is some sort of spray preservative or sealant that could help, or dousing it in some home fragrance oil as a cover-up.)

I am desperate for a home decor intervention. Help!!!

I Owe You an Explanation

Have you noticed the utter absence of photos on this blog lately?

I know.

It is sad, really. Bare. Lonely. And sad.

But I can't help it, you see, because our digital camera is still broken and we are in the process of ordering a new and improved model.

Until then, you will have to wait for pictures of pumpkins and mums, culinary creations, and a certain poochy belly (who, me?). And you'll just have to make do with words. I promise to keep those words as engaging and entertaining as possible. Cross my heart.

Roger That, Preggers!

As you all know, Jonathan and I were a bit on the cautious side when it came to sharing the news of this pregnancy. There were many reasons for this decision, one of which was the fact that I work with college students. If your college was anything like mine, or anything like the Greek community at this University, you know that news travels fast. Lightening fast. Once news gets out, it cannot be reigned in, so we decided to share that news when we were ready for the world to know.

One of the perks of my job is that I get to really live life with students, learn about their struggles, share a little life wisdom here and there. One afternoon about a year ago, the president of our fraternity council was hanging out in my office and telling me about his love life. He didn't have a girlfriend, and he was sick and tired of all of his Deep South, you-should-be-married-by-20 family members pestering him about his absentee lady friends. After his rant was over, I gently spoke the truth:

"Dude, just get used to it. Right now they want to know when you're going to get a girlfriend. When you get a girlfriend, they'll want to know when you're getting engaged. When you get engaged, they'll want to know all about the wedding. And when you've been married for a few months they'll want to know when you're going to have kids. It never ends! Right now, Jonathan and I are in the baby phase. We've been married 5 years, and people ask when we're going to have kids as though we are senior citizens!"

Well, friends, never let a college-aged boy in on the thing that bugs you. It was just a wide-open door.

"Oh, really??? So now every time I see you I should ask if you have any news for me?" he said with an ornery grin. What's a girl to do?

So for the past year, without fail, every time I saw this student he greeted me with, "Got any news for us?" He even got the rest of the fraternity council in on the joke. Over the summer, however, absence erased the mind and they seemed to have forgotten all about it.

And then, I did have news. Secret news.

Fraternity recruitment rolled around. I was about 8 weeks pregnant and spending entire days with this group of guys, trying to hide any hint of the fact that I finally did "have news." We were all using walkie talkies to communicate between fraternity houses, and the guys decided to make up call names for one another.

I sat in the golf cart, listening to their shenanigans over the airwaves, and laughed at the silly names they were coming up with (mind you, some of them were standing right there with me, but they were being boys and still talking through the walkie-talkies). And that's when it happened. Through the white noise, this is what I heard...

Phhhhhshhhhhshshss..."What's Leslie's name going to be?"... Pshsshshshshshshsh...

Psssshhhshshshshshshsh.... "PREGGERS!"

Oh. My. Gosh. How do they know??? Is it that obvious already??? Oh my word.

So I did what any girl with a secret would do. I played it cool. I embraced it. I didn't bat an eye. Didn't flinch. And I laughed inside. Because little did they know, they were right.

"Yep, guys...that's right...just call me Preggers."

For the rest of the week, I had the silent satisfaction of being reminded of my little secret through a walkie talkie. "Preggers is at Sigma Chi." "Preggers headed down Midland..." "Someone pick up Preggers in the golf cart at SigEp." They thought they were so funny. And they were, because every night I would come home and laugh with Jonathan about these silly boys who thought they had a good joke going, when really the joke was on them!

And a couple of weeks ago, you can only imagine the satisfaction that came when I could finally say, "Hey, guys! I've got some news!"

(For the record, their new greeting is now "Hey, Leslie! You look pregnant today!" Boys will be boys.)

This Weekend

• A date with my man, which involved satisfying my week-long craving for Olive Garden salad and breadsticks
• A chilly morning at the Farmer's Market where I got to chat the hours away with a new friend
• A bit of work, but the good kind of work where you remember how awesome your students are and that you have a really cool job
• Sharing a nice long chat with both my mother and mother-in-law, both of whom live way too far away
• A long walk through Shelby Farms with my partner in pregnancy, Natelie, and some other SCO friends. Did I mention that one of Jonathan's best optometry school buddies and his wife are expecting and due just a couple of weeks after us? Such a blessing to have a friend to share this journey with!
• A leisurely trip through Super Target (Why is it that before I was pregnant I would walk through their maternity section and think, "This stuff is SO cute!!!" and now that I'm pregnant I can't find one cute thing in their maternity section???)
• The discovery of the yumminess that is Archer Farms frozen pizza.
• Going to bed at 9:00 on a Saturday night because I can.
• Sporting a new dress to church on Sunday that showcases my little bump quite nicely, I must say.
• Cheddar Corn Chowder. Thank you, Ina Garten.
• A nice long visit with our landlords, who happen to be awesome people who are ALSO expecting. What is in the water, people!?!
• Baking a chocolate cake for a friend and realizing that I have never made this cake before and should probably bake a trial run cake before baking THE cake, just in case.
• Eating that chocolate cake for dinner.
• Enjoying a lazy night on the couch and ignoring all forms of productivity with the knowledge that another week will soon begin and productivity will take care of itself.

It was a lovely weekend.

So How've You Been Feeling?

This must be one the most commonly asked questions following the announcement of a pregnancy. Morning sickness is notorious, and everyone always wants to know if the dreaded queasy, pukey, yuckiness has graced your doorstep. And I'm sorry to say that, yes, the vicious MS has come my way. I have, however, been very lucky in that my experience has been limited to only 3 pukes and a chronic state of nausea. All in all, manageable. Not fun, but it could be worse.

The worst thing, for me, was the fact that within the first few weeks of pregnancy my appetite just disappeared. I mean, VANISHED, people! Now if you've been reading this blog for long you know that one thing is true of me...

I. LOVE. FOOD.

I love to shop for it. I love to cook it. I love to eat it. Bring it on!

But for the past three months, the sight/smell/thought of most foods has been met with either an "Eh" or a "Bleh." Not actual vomitting, but just the watery mouthed, stomach turning, gag reflex feeling that if I were to eat that food I would die on the spot.

Poor Jonathan. I attempted to go to the grocery store at about 6 weeks, just as the food aversion was beginning. All of the items I would typically buy (whole, unprocessed, healthy food) looked positively revolting, while all of the things that I almost never buy (processed, packaged junk) looked somewhat palatable. And don't even think about putting meat in that cart! I returned home with bags full of Ramen noodles, macaroni and cheese, several frozen things in a box...you catch the drift. Jonathan browsed through the bags with a puzzled look on his face and, in his sweetest voice, said "Um...Honey? We can't do anything with any of this..."

And that is how Jonathan became the chief grocery shopper in our family. Each week he would call me from the grocery store and say, "What sounds good to you right now?" I would proceed to rattle off my list of random things that did not make me want to curl up in the fetal position. The poor man has consumed more cereal and scrambled eggs in the past 3 months than any human being should reasonably allow.

Then, around 11 weeks, my old friend Appetite slowly began to return. I suddenly had the urge to go to the grocery store and maybe, just maybe....cook something! Just as a precaution, I made sure that Jonathan accompanied me to the store to talk me out of buying a two pound jar of saurkraut again (guilty).

That week, I actually made a few meals! And ate like a normal person! And one morning, I even made Jonathan coffee and packed him a lunch before he had to go to school. As he walked into the kitchen and saw his to-go mug of coffee and bagged lunch ready to go, his shoulders relaxed, his face grinned, and he proclaimed,

"You're BACK!"

And now, wrapping up Week 12, I do feel as though I am slowly but surely getting back to my old self. My energy is returning, the list of foods that sound appetizing is increasing, and I can manage cooking a few meals a week. But don't you worry, I am still milking this preggo card for some yummy meals out, scrambled egg and cereal dinners on the couch, and extra sleep!

Thoughts on a Thursday

• This week is flying by. It is already Thursday! Tomorrow is Friday! My weeks never fly by like this!
• Window washers are fascinating. All week they have been dangling outside of my window. I feel like I work at the circus. And my already lovely view is even better thanks to clear glass and changing leaves.
• Hey, all you teachers out there: Is there something in the air that is making your students crazy right now or is it just something in the water here in Memphis?
• I am seeing the beginnings of a little baby bump. 'Cause there is a baby in there. And that, my friends, is nuts.
• I cannot get enough Celestial Seasonings Lemon Zinger tea these days. With just a dab of honey, por favor.
• The cold weather has turned Weber into a lazy, snuggly little love of a girl. In the summer, she bounds out of bed at 6 a.m. and can't wait to get outside. These days she stays in bed until I leave for work. Jonathan even covers her up in blankets to the point that only her little brown face and floppy ears are visible. What a life! Can you blame her? It's hard to get out of bed when you've got a snuggly puppy keeping you warm.
• I have been craving blackberry cobbler for 3 days now and have yet to indulge. Today might be the day. I keep trying to remind myself that though I am eating for two, that "two" is only the size of a lime and does not require double portions of every little thing that sounds delicious.
• Did I mention that tomorrow is Friday?

Baby Daddy

After four negative pregnancy tests, the fifth came almost as an afterthought. I had one test left, had not taken one in a week, and was pretty sure that my body was just confused from traveling. It was a rare occasion when I had gotten out of bed earlier than Jonathan. I took the test and got ready for a shower, so used to getting negative results that I just went about my morning routine.

But before I could even look away, there it was. A line. A pink line. Two pink lines.

Oh. My. Gosh.

I picked it up, shaking, and stared at myself in the mirror. I then picked my jaw up out of the sink and hopped in the shower in a haze of shaky, dizzy, oh my goodness is this really happening, did I really just see those two lines, this is crazy, pick jaw up off the shower floor, rinse and repeat.

Do I tell Jonathan? He was sleeping in. I could wake him up with the news, just run in and jump on the bed screaming "We're going to have a baby!?!"

Or.

I could wait.

A few years ago, Jonathan and I were in a store and went our separate ways. When I found him again, he was standing alone, staring at something. As I got closer, I asked him what was up...he pointed at a little statue, a father holding a newborn baby. And very quietly, he said, "This is really cool." In that moment, I made a mental note to remember that statue, thinking that someday it would be a really sweet way to tell him that we are expecting.

Luckily, in that bleary haze of early pregancy excitement, I had the willpower to hold in the news in order to have that moment that I dreamed of in that store years ago. How I managed to keep the news from him that morning, I have no idea!

On my lunch break, I headed to the mall and was lucky to find the same little figurine. As the clerk wrapped my gift, he looked at me with a knowing smile and said, "Does he know?" So I shared a giddy little chat with the cashier at the gift shop, who sent me on my way with a congrats and good luck.

After work, I told Jonathan that I had a little "back to school" present for him. I had written him a letter in which I told him how proud I am of all of his hard work in optometry school and that I wanted to give him a little something that would help keep him motivated through the end of the semester. He read the letter and then pulled out his gift.

And stared. Silence.

And then he looked up at me, his eyes full of tears. And all he could get out was a quiet "Really?"

I'll leave the rest of that sweet moment to the two of us, but it was just perfect; definitely worth a day of suspense for that reaction.

He is going to be such a wonderful daddy.

And now...a few random details based on some questions in the comments section:

• I am in Week 12


• I am due on May 5, 2010


• We should find out the sex of the baby in early December


• Someone was interested in sending a gift, but does not have instant reply. Please email me at lesliepoe@gmail.com if that was you!

A Little Souvenir

We had been told that it would be difficult. There was really no way to know for sure, but more than likely a past medical issue could make the process of conceiving a child a long one. We braced ourselves for the long haul and mentally prepared ourselves for the fact that having a baby might not be easy.

When our five-year anniversary and Jonathan's 30th birthday rolled around this past summer, it also marked the point when a baby would be born after Jonathan had wrapped up his second year of optometry school. In his program, the first two years are very coursework-intensive and require long hours of late-night and early-morning studying. The third and fourth years, however, are primarily based in the clinic and on studying for board exams, both of which allow for more of an 8 to 5, "normal" schedule. We knew that even though we would be blessed to have a child at any time in this point in our marriage, it would definitely be more practical for us to wait until halfway through optometry school.

So here we are, in the stereotypically well-planned-out window for having a baby, still knowing that things would probably take awhile. We figured that we might as well begin the process now rather than waiting and starting the long process later, if that makes sense. We embarked on our New England/Canada adventure and planned to just enjoy the trip for what it was: a family reunion, quality time with friends, an adventurous getaway, Jonathan's only summer off of school, a break before the grind of another school year began for me. No pressure. No expectations. Just vacation.

Well, folks, let's just say that medical advice was...well...inaccurate. Because a couple of weeks after returning home from vacation we realized that we had brought home the best souvenir ever.

And if our child someday developes an affinity for poutine, creme de cassis, Roots clothing, smoked salmon, cold mountain air, the French language, and real maple syrup we will know why.

Oh, Canada. ;)

At this point I would be remiss if I did not acknowledge the fact that we realize what an absolute gift it is to have received this blessing so quickly. We have walked the road of infertility and loss with some of our closest friends and realize that things are not always this easy. As such, we are humbled and awed at the miracle of creation and give credit only to God for this blessing. He gives and takes away, blessed be His name. We appreciate your prayers for a healthy pregnancy and delivery, and at the same time ask you to remember your friends who are struggling to conceive or grieving the loss of a child.

I almost forgot to tell you...

I'm pregnant ;)

The Attack of the Killer Dishwasher

Little Weber Poe received the fright of her life this morning.

I sure wish I had a picture or--even better--a video. Mainly because I would totally win the jackpot on America's Funniest Home Videos. But I will do my best to describe the hilarious start to our morning.

I'm sitting on the couch in the living room, enjoying my oatmeal and the Today Show. Jonathan is in the kitchen putting a few things into the dishwasher. Weber has always had an affinity for the dishwasher, perhaps due to her hunting nose. I'm sure the myriad smells going on in there are just too much for her to bear, and she just can't resist sniffing around (and I'm sure sneaking the occasional lick) as we load the dishwasher. This morning was no exception, and she stood to the side of the dishwasher sniffing away as Jonathan took care of the chore.

The following incident occurred in a matter of 30 seconds, but I will attempt to slow-motion it for you: Suddenly, Weber stood straight up with a shocked look on her face. In a split second, Jonathan realized that the ring of her collar had hooked onto the bottom shelf of the dishwasher! Realizing she was stuck, Weber took a big hop backward to unhook herself, but the weight of her 60 pound body took the whole bottom shelf of the dishwasher with her, dishes and all!

Weber panicked and kept running into the living room, dishwasher shelf trailing behind her, rocking back and forth and spilling silverware and dishes (lots of unbreakable Pyrex, thank goodness!) all over the tile floor of the kitchen. You can only imagine the NOISE that is resulting from this: silverware clanging, paws pounding, Jonathan yelling, dishes crashing, dishwasher shelf banging. It was chaos!

Finally Jonathan stopped her, removed her collar from the dishwasher tray, and sent a shaking, terrifed puppy scampering off down the hall. He found her hiding in the hallway, every muscle shaking like a leaf! Neither of us had ever seen the poor little girl so scared.

Then, Jonathan returned to the kitchen to clean up the mess and Weber followed. At this point, the whole bottom level of the dishwasher is sitting in the middle of the living room, surrounded by dishes and silverware. As Weber approached it, she crouched down into full point, trembling with anxiety, and army-crawled up to the dishwasher tray. When she got close enough to smell it she would hop back in nervousness, and jump around a bit, only to return to her crouched army crawl to creep back again. I was sitting on the couch laughing so hard I was crying.

When Jonathan finally got the mess cleared, he brought Weber through the kitchen to take her out back. That girl looked back over her shoulder at the dishwasher the entire way through! In her little doggie mind, I think she thought that she snuck one lick too many and that dishwasher finally decided to let her have it!

And then, as any of us would like to do when the morning gets off to a rough start, she went back to bed.

Poor little Puppa.

Slow News Day

I learned the following on the Today Show this morning...

• You too can own a teacup pig as a pet for the low price of $1000. They recommend buying two so that they don't get lonely. Well, of course!
• A woman was viciously attacked by 5 racoons. Racoon mamas will fight to the death for their babies. Don't mess with 'em. And don't feed 'em, either.
• A teenager escaped from detention and has been on a burglary spree ever since, most recently stealing a plane. Catch me if you can!
• Your kitchen is the most germ-infested room in your house. And every food you could even think of eating is most likely contaminated and very, very risky. We should probably all just drink Ensure and Slim Fast for all of our nutritional needs, just to play it safe. (Ok, so that last part I made up...but seriously people! If God has ordained for me to die at the hand of a delicious raw milk cheese or unpeeled potato, so be it!)
• Washing your hands really does make a difference. (Whaaa!?! You are blowing my mind, Ann Curry!)

Slow news day, NBC?

Slang Time

There are lots of perks to working with college students. I am always in-the-know on the latest pop and rap stars, the biggest Top 40 hits, and the latest trends in fashion. I find out where great sales are happening at the cute local boutiques that the sorority women frequent, and I hear about the best deals on great food from the sorority men.

One of my favorite perks is keeping up with the latest slang. It is easy to notice new words as you hear them day-to-day, but when you spend a month working morning 'til night with students you really start to notice the trends in popular vernacular.

Allow me to share a few of the latest slang trends on campus...

Bobo: Not to be confused with a toddler-friendly term referencing a bottom, behind, or buttocks, bobo refers to something that is not legitimate, not as good, or a fake. For example, when the fraternity men thought they were buying Chick Fil A chicken biscuits from the Tiger Den, they realized that they were Aramark chicken biscuits instead. Thus, they returned declaring that they were "bobo chicken biscuits," or "those chicken biscuits were bobo."

Skeezer: Ladies, this is not a compliment. Skeezer is a term describing a woman who makes her way through a fraternity house...if you know what I mean. Enough said. It is words like this that make an ole Greek Advisor think twice before asking, "What does that mean???" Sometimes you just don't want to know!

Fail: Now this one is self-explanatory, but with fail it is all about the delivery. For example, one fraternity man tells a bad joke to the rest of the bunch. Another man will respond, "Fail." but in a deadpan, somewhat exasperated tone, often accompanied by an eyeroll. This can also be used following an embarassing moment, a mistake, or anything else that someone has screwed up. If it was really bad... "Epic Fail."

So there you have it. Just a few of the latest word fads to cross my path. Use them in a sentence today. Actually...scratch that. I really hope you don't ever have to use the word skeezer in your adult, non-fraternity house visiting life. If that is ever necessary in your world...well....

FAIL.