Before Riggins was born, one of my concerns was how well Jonathan would handle all of the crying. The guy hates crying, yelling, and loud conflict of any kind. For example, I am pretty much forbidden to watch Wife Swap or Super Nanny because the entire basis of those shows is yelling and crying. It just grinds his gears, so to speak.
Unfortunately, when you have a newborn baby, screaming and crying are not optional. (And let's face it...we're not just talking about the baby here! ;) I worried that it would all stress Jonathan out during the day and completely wreck his sleep at night, a real problem when you have to get up the next day and be responsible for someone's eyesight.
Well, folks...have no fear, because once he is off to Sleepytown this guy can't hear a thing! It has become quite the joke in our family, so don't worry...he won't be offended by this post! Allow me to tell you about a couple of my favorite "Jonathan Can't Hear the Baby" moments.
(Riggs is making a funny serious face here...like he is too cool to be taking pictures on the side of the highway in Arkansas...but I think Jonathan looks hot, so I posted it anyway :)
SleepyDeaf Hubby Story #1
It is the wee hours of the morning. The baby has been crying for awhile, and I am sitting up in bed, holding the screaming little dude and attempting to soothe him back to sleep. Weber is zonked out at the foot of the bed, Jonathan zonked out next to me. He has class the next morning, so I feel bad actually waking him, but if he happened to wake up and offer to help I would not refuse.
He stirs. My heart soars.
I will be rescued!!!
He rolls over. I can already hear his sweet sleepy voice telling me to rest, sweetie, go back to sleep...let me take it from here! I start thinking how nice it will feel to close my eyes...
And that is when he sits up.
Yes! Freedom! Sleep!
He leans over. Grabs the throw from the edge of the bed.
Covers. Up. The. DOG!
And rolls over, dead asleep once again.
SleepyDeaf Hubby Story #2
Same setting. Hubby, sleeping. Weber, sleeping. Riggins, crying. Me, bouncing, shushing, swaying, nursing. Hoping that Jonathan will wake up to help, yet hesitating to wake him myself since he has clinic the next day and needs to be able to tell the difference between an eyeball and a nostril.
He stirs.
Still not learning my lesson, my hope swells once again. My Deliverer is Coming!!!!
He stands up!
This is promising, people! He is OUT of bed! Which means he is going to walk around the bed, grab the screaming baby, and...
Turn. Up. The. FAN!
To drown out the noise of his squawking firstborn son!!!
And within seconds, his zombie-like body walks back to the bed, crawls in, and is gone in seconds.
Conclusion
You would think that I would be mad at the end of each of these scenarios. But I'm not. I think it is the most hilarious thing I have ever seen! For the life of me, I wish I knew what was going on in his brain when he wakes, hears a baby screaming, and then chooses to soothe the dog or drown out the noise. Cracks me up!
And for the record, my man is SUPER helpful during the day, and if I really hit my limit at night or in the morning, he will help. It just requires some good pinching and talking like a bad American tourist in a foreign country. You know...if you talk real loud and real slow they are going to understand English, even if they know nothing but Mandarin? [i.e. JONATHAN. I. NEED. YOU. TO. STAND. UP. AND. TAKE. THE. BABY.]
And if it ever does get the best of me, all it takes is watching him have shirtless Dude Time with my baby and all is right with the world again.
8 comments:
Hilarious. I read this aloud to Jonathan after I was laughing so hard and he wanted to know why. My guy has the same problem/blessing. He just sleeps through the noises- granted we don't have Heath next to us anymore because I couldn't handle all of his many little noises that kept me awake all night while he slept. But from the room away I hear the beginning rustles, the little talking, then the small fuss, then the louder cry.
J has been getting up with the morning feeding the past two weekends, but that is after I hear him- nudge J out of the bed- to which he replied "what do you want?" It was probably good that in the dark he couldn't see my death stare and I calmly said- Heath is crying. In that moment I don't think he even remembered we had a son.
Such a fun journey with a great partner! Glad we can laugh about these things the morning after =)
This is SO TRUE! One night when Caleb was a newborn, he woke up crying in his pack 'n play next to our bed. Josh bolted out of bed, flew out of the room, and ran back in with the Boppy around his waist and his arms above his head, looking like a frazzled wild animal. I calmly told him it was okay and to go back to bed.
Sure enough, he had no memory of it the next morning. PRICELESS!
And I just read your previous post--it didn't show up on my blogger list! Yes, I've had those moments and you'll have more. The Mother's Instinct is quite real. And it's so true how babies read their Mom's reactions. It was true that by calming down yourself, you calmed Riggs down, too. Crazy how it works. Crazy, and wonderful! :)
Hahaha, this is so true (and way too funny!). Stephen has always been a very hands-on dad, but sometimes at night he is a complete zombie. When Leighton was very little and still waking for 2:30am feedings, I would try to nudge him to get him to grab me a diaper or a supplement bottle and he would look at me as if I were speaking foreign tongues! I would even repeat it ever so slowly and still nothing registered. One night after I had just fed Leighton and put her back to bed, Stephen sat straight up in bed and was like, "Where's Leighton?!?!?" Terrified, as if she was on the floor or something! ha. She was sound asleep in her bed :)
Oh my goodness, this is so true! When Russell gets up to help in the middle of the night, it is like his ears are filled with pudding. He just stares at me so hard, trying to comprehend what I'm saying, and then he'll promptly jump up, swirl around, and actually accomplish nothing! ;) This was only the first month or so, and now it is down to a science...but OH so funny! (And, for the record, I so very much appreciate his help...but it is still funny, nonetheless!)
And you made another blog post before this? It didn't show up on my reader either...?
Sooooo glad I'm not the only one!
I was laughing so hard Les!! I can so relate.
Just last week, Jude had a rare diaper explosion in the middle of the night. After nursing him, I just felt wet goo on my hand. So I said to Brett in a loud whisper, "He pooped." Brett instinctively gets our little candela light and starts shining it all around the back of MY night gown. I that point, I still would like to keep Jude somewhat sleepy through the diaper and onesie change. So I'm trying to swat his hand and get him to help me clean him up. After much confusion and frustration he helps. The next morning he told me that he heard me say "I'M pooping." My husband thought I had pooped all over myself and needed help cleaning up. Come on!!
LOVE it! So true. I think every wife/mom can relate! Thank you for sharing your story candidly and with humor, that reminds me to relax when I am the only one who hears the baby! ;o) And yes, shirtless dad/baby time can wipe away most any offense. Love to see Daddy with my baby boys too!
I have loved catching up with you and swapping mom stories! You guys are so precious! And Riggs is a CUTIE!!!
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