Toddler Theology

I was in the kitchen, almost finished wiping down the counters so that I could spend some time playing with Riggins before heading out for the evening.  

At my feet, he clung for dear life to my legs, whining in desperation, his frustration only increasing with my "Wait, sweetie," "Patience, baby," "One minute, honey."  It has been one of those days when he has been especially needy and impatient even when I am seconds away from fulfilling his needs.  

With the last crumb swept away, I knelt down, placed my hands on his shoulders, drew him into a hug, and then looked into his eyes:  

"I hear you, darling.  I know you don't think I do, but I hear you.  And I'm right here.  I will give you what you need."  

And then I was hit with a sensation that has occurred a handful of times in my almost seventeen months of motherhood.  The clear sensation of God's voice, prompting my attention to yet another similarity between my earthly experience of parenting and his divine Fatherhood to his children.  

So often--today, even--I find myself needy.  Whining.  Impatient.  Desperately pulling at the leg of God and complaining, assuming that He couldn't possibly hear, accusing him of not meeting my needs as quickly or as accurately as I would wish.  

And tonight I felt my words repeated back to me:

I hear you darling.  I know you don't think I do, but I hear you.  And I'm right here.  I will give you what you need.

My son may not get his milk as soon as he would like.  He may get broccoli instead of sweet potatoes.  He may go to bed earlier than he is ready.  He may have to wait one minute before receiving the fullness of the attention and love I have to give him.  But he will have everything he needs, when he needs it, and with an abundance of love and care.  Because he is my son.  Because I love him more than life.  

I may not have as much money in my budget as I would like.  I may not know what life after May 2012 has in store.  I may not (scratch that...will not) get my dream house, dream neighborhood, dream life the second Jonathan graduates next Spring.  I may have to watch those I love endure hardships that I do not understand, and endure hardship myself.  I may have to wait years before being able to see the fullness of God's purpose and blessing in these areas of my life.  But I will have everything I need, when I need it, and with an abundance of love and care.  Because I am His child.  Because He loves me more than life.  

I hear you darling.  I know you don't think I do, but I hear you.  And I'm right here.  I will give you what you need.