If you hear news about someone--pregnancy, new job, etc.--through the grapevine, or even from that person directly, please, PLEASE refrain from mentioning that news on Facebook unless you have seen that person make the announcement themselves in their Facebook status.
Can you tell my feathers are a bit ruffled about this? And it isn't even my news!
I have noticed this utter insensitivity (or is it just ignorance? thoughtlessness? I'm not sure) often, but in the past two weeks I have TWICE seen someone's cherished, sacred news of a pregnancy announced on Facebook by someone else. Often, someone just writes on their Wall: "A little birdie told me some news about you today...Congratulations!" or "Congratulations! I'm so happy for you two..." Which others then see and then feel the need to comment: "What??? You're pregnant/moving/chronically ill!?!"
The person is then forced to tell the world their news when they may not have been ready to do so. And in some circumstances, this could involve some tricky situations when a person has been waiting to share the news with particular people in their life, loved ones, and most notably with their employer. I suppose many people who have not worked in awhile may forget that some work environments are not family friendly, and it often takes the expecting parents a bit of time to figure out how to negotiate the process of telling your boss that you will be taking a few months of leave, or not returning at all. Or in the case of announcing a new job, the person may not have even told their employer/students/coworkers that they are leaving. But someone else just did.
Instead of relishing in the fun of announcing the big news, whatever it may be, one then has to start putting out fires, backtracking, and resigning themselves to confirming what everyone else has already heard. The moments of shock that come when telling those you love about something really wonderful in your life is gone. And that is just sad.
In conclusion:
- The next time you hear some fun news and want to send your congrats via Facebook or share the news with someone else, stop. Think.
- Look at that person's Facebook page. Have they mentioned it? Then by all means send your congrats!
- If they haven't mentioned it, slap those hands of the keyboard and keep the news to yourself until the person puts something along the lines of "There's a bun in the oven!" or "Is moving to Timbuktu!" or "Has 2 months to live!" on their status.
- If someone shares news with you directly, you might consider asking "Is this news common knowledge yet or would you like me to keep it to myself until you've had the chance to tell others?"
- Imagine yourself in their shoes. Would you be mad if your best friend found out about your pregnancy through a random acquaintance on Facebook? Yes? Well they would too.
This public service announcement has been brought to you, with love, by Emily Post, Social Networking Site Abusers Anonymous, Gossip Girl, and yours truly.
Thank you, and goodnight.





Said "I Do" to the man of my dreams...

