Though "well" includes a state of withdrawal caused by this little girl:
And these girls:
(Carrie, Kenan holding Emsleigh, me, and Abby)
And, yes, those are tears in my eyes. As we prepared to say our goodbyes and I snuck one last little moment with Emsleigh, I was overcome with emotion...
Joy at holding this precious child, a long-awaited gift to God-fearing parents who just so happen to be two of my favorite people in the world. For the rest of my life, the story of their daughters will point me to God's faithfulness and provision to His children.
Awe to know that the next time I see Abby she will be mother to a little boy. I can't help but giggle to think of Abby chasing a little guy around the house. She is going to be a wonderful mother.
Helplessness upon realizing that the next time I see her, Emsleigh will be bigger and I will miss everything in between. Life just keeps going whether you're there to watch it or not, and I so miss living life with those I love.
Sadness to leave these sweet friends, the comfort of sharing a foundation, a history, with people who know me and love me well. Being new to Memphis, I am still in the stage where friendships are new, where stories and backgrounds are being learned, where relationships are based more on something to do over the weekend rather than on vulnerability and growth. I long for friends who sharpen and refine me, who can laugh at my quirks and love me nonetheless. That takes time, and in the mean time I must savor moments like these.
Those emotions are the reason behind that glisten in my eyes, the red in my cheeks. Loving people hurts, doesn't it? For wonderful reasons and sad reasons all at once. And though as I sit back here at my desk today, feeling the pang of withdrawals, of loneliness, I know that these feelings are what make people worth loving, and life worth living. In the words of one of my favorite songwriters, Sarah Groves, "At the end of your life, your relationships are all you've got." And, man, if that's all that counts, I'd say I've got it pretty good.
Love you girls.
3 comments:
So glad you got to spend some time with good friends. I remember all too well what you're feeling, and remember how amazingly refreshing it was to visit with people who just "know" you. Hope you get to "know" some more folks in Memphis very soon.
Oh, and even though there are tears in your eyes, it's nice to see a picture with a smile! Your "keepin' it real" shot was bringing me down! ;)
Leslie, what a sweet post. Glad you got to see some of your pals. Those are some quality gals you've got in your corner! :)
Awww-this was so sweet! you look so happy in that pic with that little one :)
So glad you got to have some fun times with old friends :)
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