We are in the process of trying to choose and buy our first home. It is not my favorite thing. Something about the permanence of this decision after many years of temporary living situations coupled with my transitory Air Force upbringing makes this process a bit overwhelming to me. Time and time again we have been reminded that there is no perfect house and no perfect situation. That advice is helpful, and yet we do have to seek God in making the best decision for our family and weighing those imperfect options is not simple.
We also have the blessing and curse of a relatively open time frame. I sometimes wish we were in a situation where we had one weekend to find a house and were forced to make a decision. It is such a blessing to be content in our current rental situation and to have the freedom to wait on the right thing for us, and yet that openness to something better on the horizon can sometimes feel like a hinderance. There could always be something better around the corner.
Last week we made an offer on a home. It was a bit smaller than we would have hoped for, but it was at a great price, in a great location, and on a gorgeous six acre lot. To make a long story short, it turned into a bidding war with another owner and although the ball was in our court and the home was ours if we wanted it, we did not feel at peace with upping our bid and decided to walk away.
There was a clear lesson for me in this and I wanted to share it.
Christians often use a neat, tidy little way of summing up these types of decisions: doors opening and doors closing. If the doors keep opening, if the opportunities keep coming, then you continue to walk through them, assuming that they are green lights for God's will in the situation. If the door closes, you stop, assuming that God has red-lighted the situation.
And sometimes that's how it goes.
But sometimes it isn't. Sometimes the door is open. Sometimes the light is green. And sometimes God still says STOP! Even though all the signs look like a go, sometimes the Holy Spirit just whispers that little warning or puts that hesitation in your gut, and you have to shut that door yourself and walk away.
That's when obedience gets difficult. Living by a moment-to-moment dependance on the prompting of the Holy Spirit can be difficult and confusing. In the days after we let go of that house, we would occasionally look at each other and say, "Are you sure we did the right thing?" We had to rely on our assurance of God's clear direction and not on the seemingly ideal situation we had walked from. We are trusting that God has something different, better, in store than the great situation we had found for ourselves.
Just wanted to share that little lesson I've been chewing on. Perhaps it can be applicable for you in a decision you are facing. We sure appreciate your prayers for discernment as we navigate this process of finding a more permanent home for our little family!
7 comments:
Curby and I just talked about this. I went through an entire interview process and am not sure its the right job for me right now. We had prayed for God to make the doors open so that we would have the option of choice, but I agree with you - just because the doors are open doesn't mean its God's best for you in that moment. So Curby said, "well, we prayed for the doors to be open." and I agreed, we had done so, but I argued that it didn't mean that we had to take it. So we'll see what happens. They may not offer, we may not accept if they do. But what I DO know is that God was faithful to give us the opportunity and now we can do with it as we will. Good lessons this week - thanks for sharing your story, Leslie!
So good. So so good.
Great post, friend.
I'll be praying for you guys as you keep searching! Maybe a home right by City Pres is what God has in store? ;)
I remember a sermon of Jeremy's on wisdom and decision making. He preached that as long as the choices were not morally wrong, God gives us the option to decide between them, based on what is wisest for your immediate family. I have gone back to that over and over again when it came to making hard decisions. What is the absolute BEST for my husband and children? Often times, the light turns on! Memphis is still missing you!
I always come back to your blog and read just the right post. Seriously love your blog, lady. :)
This reminds me of a story in Bob Goff's book, "Love Does." Have you read it? It's a story about him trying to get into law school with dismal LSAT scores and being turned down. Instead of taking that no as a closed door he went to campus and pleaded with the Dean, who told him no. Then, every day after that and waited for the dean to walk outside by the bench where he sat and said, "All you have to do is tell me to buy my books." He was there during the first week of law school, and his window was closing. That Friday of the first week, he Dean walked up to him, saw him sitting there (STILL) and said, "Go buy your books." And he did - and now he's a lawyer making incredible differences around the world in the lives of children. And he said, like what you were saying, sometimes we have to kick the door down if it's closed. A good thing to remember.
Prayers for a home that is a perfect fit for your family, and prayers that you will have a peace that surpasses all understanding when you find it. (-:
~Kathryn
Oh how I can relate to this post! If I can offer you any reassurance, it is that you WILL find the right house at the right time-- God's timing is perfect :). Praying for you in this process!
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