Letters to Rhett: Five Months Old

September 5, 2012

Dear Rhett,

You are already starting to catch up to your monkey, buddy!  It helps that you are a tall drink of water like your big brother.  At five months, you're already wearing 9 month jammies just to accommodate that long torso and those long legs, but you are mostly in size 6 month clothing.  We are finishing out the last of a box of size two diapers, but you're about to bump up a size.  You're growing like a weed, just as you should be!

At five months old, you nurse about every three hours during the day and about twice at night.  Settling into a sleep routine has come with more difficulty for you, mostly because it is impossible to be rigid with a schedule when you have an older sibling to account for as well!  You are a very restless sleeper; although you go down easily, staying asleep and getting yourself back to sleep once you've awakened is a struggle.  You'll get there, buddy, and until then I am happy to enjoy your snuggles!  

We could never resent your sleep struggles because you are otherwise the most content baby I've ever met.  You continue to live up to your nickname, little Peach: sweet, sweet, sweet!  You are generous with your smiles and only fuss if you have gotten overtired (or if you've awakened too early from sleep.  See above ;).  This month, you are increasingly aware of your surroundings, and you watch the world go by with a wide-eyed, raised eyebrow expression of interest.  Although you are quick to give a smile, it is tough to get you to laugh!  We really have to work to get a giggle out of you, but I think it's just because you're Mr. Mellow!   

Your big first this month was your first road trip!  I took you along with me to the Horn Family Reunion in Des Moines, Iowa.  It was such a fun opportunity to have one-on-one time with you, and I will always have sweet memories of that special trip with my Rhettaroo.  You were a traveling champ, and everyone raved about what a good baby you are.  There were lots of aunties and cousins vying for your snuggles, and you went to everyone with ease.  This reunion was for the descendants of Matthew Horn, so it was appropriate that you were able to visit the home of your namesake!

We got out the Jumparoo this month and it is now your favorite pastime.  You go nuts in that thing and have also gotten pretty adept at manipulating all the little toys around the edges.  Tummy time is now a favorite activity too--especially in front of the mirrored closet doors in Riggins' room--and you are much more interested in toys and books now.  Your pacifier and the Ergo carrier are other favorite things.

Rhett, we love you to pieces and are so thankful that you are a part of our family.  You bring joy to everyone you meet, but I think you bring the most joy to this mama's heart.  

Love you, baby boy...

Momma

Ode to the Coffee Pot

I broke our coffee pot on Saturday.  It wasn't a fancy coffee pot.  Just a basic Krups, but it was a wedding gift so I felt sad and sentimental as I swept the broken carafe into the dustpan.  

For a plain jane coffee pot, it brewed a good cup.  In our first little house, our neighbor was a coffee roaster.  He would knock on our door with a freshly roasted bag of beans, and we would grind them up on Saturday mornings and laze around the way childless newlyweds do.  

In Waco, we were introduced to HEB and the delicious Taste of San Antonio blend.  I would brew a pot before study sessions, and when our community group met in our home I always added a smidge of brown sugar and cinnamon to the grounds.  In Shawnee, one pot fueled both Jonathan's duels with his organic chemistry textbook in one room and my giggle-filled RA meetings in the other.

After Riggins was born, I quickly realized that he could not tolerate any caffeine in my system when nursing.  I still brewed a pot of decaf each morning, hoping that a placebo effect would give me the energy I was so greatly lacking as a sleep deprived new mother.  

Rhett can handle a bit of caffeine himself, but with two children came a new problem.  What was a leisurely morning nap hour with one child--perfect for a cup of coffee and quiet time--is now just another hour with a toddler.  The pot I brewed in desperation after a night of being up with the baby always seemed to sit untouched in the carafe.  I finally began the habit of brewing a big pot all at once and sticking the entire thing in the fridge, thus beginning my latest addiction to iced coffee.  

I just finished searching for a replacement carafe online and they are no longer in production, so it's time to purchase a new coffee maker altogether.  It is a little ridiculous to be sad about the demise of a small appliance, but it is kind of nostalgic to say goodbye to something that has provided something hot to hold through many sweet moments of our marriage.  I suppose I should just be thankful that our marriage has outlasted the coffee pot.  In this day and age, that isn't always the case!

(In other news, apparently eight years is the time limit for many wedding gifts, as both of our sets of sheets--now threadbare--have gaping rips as of this week.  The nonstick finish has started to wear off of my skillets, and I no longer have a full set of matching glasses.  Anyone want to throw us another shower?)

Squeak

I'm slightly embarrassed to write about this, but it is what it is.

There's been a mouse in the house.  Actually, there have been mice in the house, but that doesn't rhyme quite as well.  

It must be said that our little rental house is just fine.  It was recently renovated and is clean and as nice a home as you can expect for an inexpensive rental in suburban Oklahoma.  However, our back yard might as well be a field.  It is huge, and we have no neighbors behind us.  The problem seems to come from the combination of our "wild" surroundings and the fact that it is an older home that, despite renovation, is going to have its nooks and crannies for little critters to find.  

I first saw the little booger, of course, when Jonathan was out of town.  As I sat on the couch nursing Rhett, a movement in the kitchen caught my eye.  A teensy mouse had run out of that hole next to the dishwasher that you can see in the above picture, and he just stood there in the middle of the kitchen floor for a second before running back in.  I saw him two more times before we caught him in a little sticky trap.  An animal lover, I preferred the more humane method of catching the little guys and having Jonathan release them in a field near his office.  

We caught two this way, but they just kept coming.  Every night I would sit on the couch nursing Rhett and see quick-as-lightening movements out of the corner of my eye that I just knew were little mice running on my kitchen floor.  Then I would hear them squeaking, almost like a mouse version of a cat fight.  They never ate our food or damaged anything that we could see, but it was so unnerving just knowing they were there.  Poor Weber was beside herself, her hunting instincts in full force, yet she was never quite able to follow through on the quick little creatures that taunted her from their hiding places in the walls with their scratching and squeaking.  It was like they had figured out how to avoid our sticky traps and carry on with their fun.  

One afternoon, I opened the cabinet under the sink to throw something in the trash, and there were two little faces staring up at me out of the trash can.  I flipped, even making Riggins cry because Mama was screaming in the kitchen!  But I flipped because I realized that also under the sink was the bin where I kept all of Rhett's bottles and some other feeding-related items for the kiddos.  Luckily I hadn't used anything from that bin in over a month, because I pulled out the bin and found mouse droppings everywhere, along with many destroyed bibs and other items that I had to throw away.  I had to sanitize every single thing, which took forever.

This was war.  No more Miss Nice Sticky Traps.  No more taking Riggins to Petco to show him the cute little mice in their cages.  These vermin are the spawn of Satan and they will die.  

Out came the big guns: the snap traps.  Within two days we had killed three of the buggers, and after that we used steel wool to seal up every hole and crack we could find.  We haven't seen one since.  

I officially have an exception clause to my animal lover status: no mercy for mice!  I will gladly use a snap trap and happily throw your dead little body into the trash can.  You've been warned, Mickey.  

The Did List

In spite of being coupled with several other life changes, my transition to two children has been fairly smooth.  Nevertheless, I have been flung deeper into the trenches of the less glamorous side of parenting.  Although Rhett is just a tiny little thing with very few needs, the addition of one more body to our household seemed to multiply every basic domestic task.  Suddenly the piles of laundry and dirty dishes seemed double what they had been before, and a room could go from tidy to a disaster in no time flat.  We quickly realized that as parents of two children there would simply be less wiggle room for letting things slide without our home quickly deteriorating into chaos.  

I had begun to feel the drag of this constant wheel of domestic obligations.  Household work is repetitive business, and it can be depressing to feel like you will be doing laundry and dishes and picking up for the rest of your life.  On top of that, my short to-do list of projects, tasks, and errands was  perpetually undone, leaving me feeling like a failure at the end of each day.  I felt so very busy, and yet there seemed to be nothing to show for it.  

Then I had a vague memory of my friend Katie mentioning that she once kept track of everything she did one day in her role as a stay-at-home mom.  I decided to give it a try, just to give myself a little validation that, yes, I am accomplishing something each day.  Leaving a notepad out on my kitchen counter, I proceeded to write down every little thing I accomplished that day.  Every diaper change.  Every feeding.  Every change of laundry loads.   

 The list was halfway down the page by 10 a.m.!  And I didn't even include all of the baby soothing, toddler helping and playing, and dog letting in-and-out-ing.   

Granted, the list is still mundane.  Lots of dishwasher loading and unloading, laundry folding, meal prepping, naptime and bedtime ritualing, and the like.  I changed nine diapers, nursed six times, and put the baby down for four naps before I stopped keeping track of those things.  But there were some exciting things thrown in for good measure.  I killed a big spider!  I played water beads!  I made zucchini bread!  I cleaned up a big pee pee mess!  Are you jealous yet? ;) 

My life is not going to be selected for a reality show any time soon.  My days are filled with lots of recurring events that I will do again tomorrow and the next day.  But it was enough to remind myself that in spite of the many things that will never get accomplished in this season of life, my days are full and I am doing something important, even if it doesn't always feel that way or look that way on paper.  These boys will be gone before I know it, and someday when my kitchen is clean, my laundry is done, and my house is quiet I will long for these days that often feel so unproductive.  I hope they will fondly remember the home I created for them and the sweet days that we spent together, mundane and repetitive as they may be.  

Our Omer of Manna: Part IV

We left off having just moved to Shawnee after a job loss in Waco and a summer of living with friends in DFW while Jonathan began his prerequisites.  I was living alone as the RD in Kerr (after spending all of my graduate school years swearing I would never work in ResLife) on the OBU campus, and still reeling from all the changes of the last six months.  

Soon enough, my staff of new resident advisors arrived and reminded me that regardless of the job description, I would be doing what I loved: working with college students.  Once Jonathan arrived on campus a few days later, everything felt right.  After nearly a year of stress, life suddenly felt very simple, and in a strange way we both realized that God brought us back to OBU to bring us home, to bring us to a familiar place where we could learn to breathe again.

I literally walked down a hall to my office, and Jonathan walked across The Oval to class each day.  We met in the ARA for lunch and enjoyed all of the sweet traditions on campus that we had loved as students.  We were surrounded by community and a short drive from family.  Aside from the demands of Jonathan's prerequisite courses (And, boy, were they demanding!) and my job (Ever managed a building full of college women?  It can get interesting!), life was very sweet.

Jonathan had an opportunity to work at an optometry practice in the city that was owned by some family friends.  Each Friday, he would drive to the city to shadow the doctors and learn the ropes.  The plan was that Jonathan would spend one year finishing prerequisites and gaining experience, and spend the next year studying for and taking the OAT exam, completing the admissions packets, and interviewing at different schools.

The practice where Jonathan shadowed is well connected with the Oklahoma board of optometrists and the administration of Oklahoma's optometry school in Tahlequah.  They encouraged Jonathan to go ahead and apply that year, just to get his name in the mix and build familiarity so that he would be a shoe-in for the next year.  Just after being given this advice, we visited the Tahlequah campus and the head of admissions gave him the same advice, but with a twist: he wanted him to take the OAT in two weeks, which would give him a chance to take the exam twice before the admissions deadline.

At this point, Jonathan had only had about one month of Organic Chemistry and hadn't even taken biology, microbiology, and several other courses that were on the OAT.  To take the OAT successfully at that point was a long-shot, but Jonathan felt that he needed to follow their advice.  He crammed on those subjects over the next two weeks, basically teaching himself the courses that he had yet to take, and hoped for the best.

When he took the exam, he had no idea that he would be given his score before leaving the testing center.  He clicked "Submit" after the final question, and much to his shock, his score popped up on the screen.  This was the beginning of God blowing our minds in every step of this process.

He had passed, scoring twenty points higher than what he needed to get an interview at any optometry school.  Now, Jonathan is a smart guy, but he will be the first to tell you that this score had nothing to do with him and everything to do with God.

We were thrilled to be able to at least get Jonathan's name in the mix for that year's application process.  Knowing full well that he would not be admitted since he would not have completed his prerequisites until the end of that next summer, we looked forward to visiting a few campuses for interviews and scoping out where we might be headed in two years.

Letters to Rhett: 4 Months Old

August 5, 2012

Dear Rhett,

Rhetters, Rhettaroo, Rhettaroo-boo.  Those are just a few of the little nicknames we tend to call you in our best schmoopy-woopy baby talk voices.  But there is one nickname that you've earned, much to your Daddy's chagrin, and that's Peaches.  I just can't help myself!  You are sweet, round, and soft with a nice layer of fuzz, and I just can't help but call 'em like I see 'em!  You are a little peach of a baby and we just adore you!

At four months old, you weigh 15 pounds 10 ounces (50th percentile) and are 27 3/4 inches long (97th percentile!).  You're a tall drink of water like your big brother, but you've got a bit more chub to go with it.  You wear a size two diaper and are in mostly 6 month clothing.  That long torso and those long legs have you outgrowing clothes before I can even get to them!  You nurse about every three hours during the day and once or twice at night.

We are in that awkward four-month no-man's-land of sleep habits where your naps tend to end abruptly at 30-45 minutes long.  You also tend to have lots of frustrating awakenings in the night where you aren't necessarily hungry but you can't quite get yourself back to sleep.  I know that these things will improve with time so I am trying to take them in stride without establishing any bad habits.  On a positive note, you fall asleep very easily on your own.  It's just the falling back asleep after awaking early (and grumpy) that is the struggle right now.

You continue to be an exceptionally happy, laid back little guy who has a smile for everyone you meet.  People constantly comment on how good you are; you really only cry if you are tired, but then you're easy to put down so even that doesn't last very long!  You are generous with your smiles and have also found your little voice, even giving out little happy squeals (but no real giggle yet!).  Your favorite syllable seems to be "Oooh," which is accompanied by the most adorable little fishy face.

At four months old, you enjoy being carried in the Ergo, going for walks in the stroller, standing on our laps, sitting in the Bumbo (especially if you're getting to watch your brother doing something!), being read to, taking a bath, your taggie blanket, and being outside.  You're also starting to like tummy time a bit more!  You went on your first swim this month and although you cried a bit when you first got in the water, you enjoyed it once I held you close.  The only thing you really don't seem to like is having your nails trimmed; no mani/pedis for this dude!  

Those blue eyes of yours could light up a room.  That precious smile of yours brings joy beyond description.  The way you snuggle your face into my shoulder when you're sleepy melts my heart.  I love you, Rhett, and I am so proud that you're mine.


Love,

Momma

Starting Over While Coming Home

I have been doing really well here in Oklahoma, surprising myself with how much I have enjoyed the various aspects of our little life here.  In many ways I know that is because God has changed my heart and brought contentment in my circumstances.  In other ways I know that it is because I redirect my mind pretty quickly when memories and longings for Memphis creep in.  I've been in survival mode as I get my little family settled in this "new" place, and I just haven't been able to let myself go there.  Thinking about the people, the places, and the memories that I miss are just a little too much for me to handle on most days.  

But today...man...it hit me hard.  Of all things, it was a trip to the pediatrician's office that put me over the edge.  Apparently I was not aware that our pediatrician's office in Memphis was the cream of the crop.  There I was with Rhett, visiting for his 4-month well check, in an old, bare waiting room before being led to an old, bare exam room.  No one gave me a cute little handout with his weight, height, and percentiles.  No fish tank and bright colors.  No cheery nurses.  I liked the doctor enough, but she was no Dr. Miller, who I always had to stop myself from inviting out for coffee after my appointment because she was just so darn great that I wanted to be friends.  

Riggins was with my mother-in-law for the day, so I headed off to Target.  When my shopping was finished and Rhett was still asleep, I had plenty of time to meet someone for lunch.  And that's when I realized that I didn't have anyone to call.  Sure, I have friends here, but Oklahoma City is so spread out that I have very few friends who are close enough to spontaneously meet for lunch.  Other friends are busy with jobs.  

And suddenly I was just sad.  Crying while driving sad.  I miss my cheery pediatrician's office.  I miss having friends who are always up for a last-minute date for lunch or the playground and who live close enough to do ss.  I miss having countless local restaurants within a five minute drive of my house.  I miss living in a pretty place with trees and color.  I miss Gibson's Donuts, Fino's, Central BBQ, Brother Juniper's, Memphis Pizza Cafe, and Cafe Eclectic.  I miss having three playgrounds, a coffee shop, and a beautiful university campus within walking distance of my house.  I miss seeing random characters walking down the street (or jaywalking, more likely) doing or carrying crazy stuff.  I miss so many things about that place and that season of life.  

But I love seeing old friends and family on a regular basis.  I love getting snow cones every other day (No good snow cones in Memphis.  And Memphians, don't bother telling me about Jerry's.  Been there.  Not impressed.)  I love that my husband is finally practicing optometry and loving it.  I love that Riggins is happy as a clam in this new place and that Rhett is so sweet and easy that he would be happy anywhere.  I love buying Braum's milk and seeing beautiful sunsets.  I love being around people with whom I have history.  

So it's not that Oklahoma isn't good.  It is.  It's just that our return to Oklahoma feels like starting over just as much as it feels like coming home, and today I was feeling the starting over part a bit more keenly.