Spa Treatment

Back in March, our staff moved in to the brand new University Center. The building is truly impressive, housing lots of great food options (a restaurant, along with Dunkin Donuts, Burger King, Taco Bell, a deli, sushi, pizza...basically a pregnant woman's heaven), a theatre, meeting spaces, a ballroom, a computer lab, student affairs offices, and student organizational space. It is truly a state-of-the-art facility.

Yet as with all new buildings, it still has a few kinks that creep up and require attention.

Two days ago, I visited the small bathroom that is tucked away in a hallway behind our offices. As I sat down on the toilet seat, I realized that it was somewhat toasty. Considering that the average toilet seat is on the chilly side, this new sensation was definitely noticed.

But in the short time that I sat on that seat, I soon realized that it was more than just a warm seat.

My seat was now warm.

I suddenly could not escape the fact that I felt steam on my hiney! I quickly finished my business and hopped up, only to turn around and see steam rising from the toilet! It was full of hot water!

I had pretty much just just received a hiney facial, courtesy of the University of Memphis physical plant.

Of course, for the rest of the day all the ladies in the office were buzzing about the steaming potties. But yesterday, we noticed that our favorite "spa" was closed off with caution tape. Apparently the steamy commodes had gotten out of hand.

In this morning's Division-wide staff meeting, we received an enlightening report. Apparently a student complained of being burned by a toilet on the 2nd floor. And to lodge her complaint, she burst into the UC office and proclaimed: "What are you going to do about my butt!?!"

And now here I sit. Trying to find a way to wrap this post into a neat, tidy package. But really, there are no words to summarize a post about steaming toilets and complaints about bootie burns. So I'm just going to hope that you are as amused as I am, and leave it at that.

The END.

(Hee hee. Get it? The END?)

I love puns.

Lasts

Unless Riggs decides to make an early appearance, my last day of work is one week from today. Since next week is Dead Days, this week has been one of "lasts." Last Panhellenic Recruitment meeting, last Service on Saturday, last time to judge the fraternity men in a womanless beauty contest.

Oh, wait...that was a first and a last.

But for some reason it all just hit me as I stood outside at my last yard show earlier this afternoon.

I suddenly remembered my first yard show on this campus. Each of the students was a total stranger to me, and though I had some experience with NPHC fraternities and sororities from my time in graduate school, the prospect of breaking into this group of students and being liked and respected by them was daunting.

But today, as they strolled and stepped by, I realized that I could tell you almost all of their names. And as they caught my eye, smiled and waved, or stopped for a hug and a chat about the baby they all can't wait to meet, I realized what wonderful relationships I have developed with them over the past two years.

And that's when it hit me. Something about this "last" just brought reality rushing in, and the tears began. (For the record, a 9-month pregnant, crying white woman is not a common site at a yard show. :) But instead of fighting it, I just soaked it all in, thanking the Lord that I am leaving a job I love enough to shed a few tears.

And making plans for Riggs' first yard show next Fall.

Something tells me he'll feel right at home.

On the Telly

CONFESSION:

I watched Ugly Betty.

And liked it.

That's right, folks. For the past four years I have been an avid Tivo-er of this silly little drama that I will openly admit is a bit ridiculous. And now I have to admit that I watched the final episode last week with a few tears in my eyes.

That Betty...she's come a long way.

My dear husband, however, is doing a jig of joy at the fact that he never again has to allow such fluff into his home. Now if only he could get me to stop watching The Bachelor/ette.

Lucky for me, there are plenty of other delightful options in my Tivo list these days...for example:

I have always adored Jamie Oliver. And I can say that because even my husband has a bit of a crush on him. Who doesn't love a cute dude with a British accent who can cook, for Pete's sake?!

If you know me well, you know that I am extremely passionate about healthy, local food. Now that I live in one of the fattest cities in America, I feel even more strongly about this topic. As you can imagine, Jamie's latest show gets me fired up. This guy is committed to a grassroots revolution of the way we eat in America, particularly in our public schools and homes. His experiences on this journey make me yell at the television, laugh, and cry all in one hour!

(On a related but unrelated note, the Memphis Farmers Market opened last weekend! I won't be volunteering for this first month or so of the market, but as soon as I feel up to it I'll be back in my obnoxious lime green shirt. Until then, I fully intend to play the part of dedicated shopper and got started with some yummy asparagus, shitake mushrooms, arugula, strawberries, and herb plants last weekend. It really is ridiculous how happy that place makes me, and it was super fun to see all of my volunteer and farmer friends after a long winter!)

Of course, who can forget that GLEE! is back!

Not much to say about this except that it is the best show on television right now. I can't get enough of it. And I really hope that Finn and Rachel get back together. And I might have a slight crush on Mr. Schuster, but only because he totally reminds me of my husband: ridiculously good looking and talented. (AND, Glee is one of the only shows that Jonathan will actually watch with me, so that is saying something!)

Last, but not least, the other best show on television comes back on May 27th, and I am fully counting on it to help me maintain my sanity during my first weeks of new parenthood. Up in the middle of the night? No problem! Just turn on....

So You Think You Can Dance...

Dance...

Dance....

What shows are you loving these days?

Fully Cooked

Dear Riggins,

Well, kid, here we are at 37 weeks! That means that you are full-term and ready to make your entrance at any time. It is so surreal to know that we are just a few short weeks, give or take, away from meeting you! I remember bracing myself for this whole pregnancy experience to creep by slowly, but now I am just amazed at how quickly it has flown. Through it all, our love for you and our excitement over your arrival has just multiplied, and we can hardly wait to bring you into the world, into our lives, into our home.

The latest news is that I have officially decided to stay home with you full-time. In one sense this decision was a no-brainer: I can't imagine not spending every bit of my time with you , and I am so excited to begin this new chapter of my life. I have so many dreams about all the fun that you and I are going to have together, and I can't wait to have a front-row seat as you grow and learn and become who you were created to be.

In another sense, it has been a bittersweet process of coming to the place where I am ready to say goodbye to my career for a time. Riggs, I have been so very blessed to have a job that I love and a distinct calling to something that I believe God created me to do. I pray that you will grow to find a calling and vocation that energizes and fulfills you, and in which you can make a profound impact for the Kingdom of God. One of my goals as your mother is to find a way to continue in my calling, even though I am no longer working with college students as a professional vocation. Becoming your mother changes God's call to ministry in my life, but it does not eliminate it. I know that I will be a better mother to you if I can find a way to remain actively involved in the lives of college students. I'm not sure what that looks like just yet, but I am excited to find out.

Your nursery is complete, and we find ourselves spending a lot of time there just laying on the plush rug or sitting in the rocker, talking about our day as Weber sprawls out on the floor chewing a bone. Your room is particularly perfect in the morning when the light pours into the three tall windows and the breeze makes your sailboat mobile spin lazily overhead. The space is open, airy, and peaceful, but still very "boy." I love it. Your dad assembled the cradle that was a gift from my parents, and it is waiting for you in our room. It is such a sweet reminder that you are on your way. We have been given everything we could possibly need to prepare for your arrival and have been so blessed by the generosity of our friends and family. They are all so excited to meet you!

Our weekly doctor's appointments are showing steady progress, although I am forcing myself to let those measurements go in one ear and out the other! Riggs, some of my friends might want to shoot me for saying this, but....I feel fantastic. I sleep soundly through the night, have zero swelling, minimal aches and pains, and couldn't even tell you what heartburn feels like. It seems as though it is a prenatal obligation to be absolutely miserable in these last few weeks, and I definitely realize that I could wake up tomorrow and feel absolutely horrid. But believe me, I realize how lucky I am and am counting my blessings every day! Thanks for going so easy on me!

One of my latest pregnancy quirks is that I have a ridiculous obsession with fruit and have single-handedly polished off four pineapples in five days. No exaggeration. I am consuming mangoes and berries by the bowl full multiple times a day, and occasionally Breyer's strawberry ice cream also wiggles its way into the fruit category. I can knock an entire pineapple into perfect bite-size pieces with minimal overall waste in under 3 minutes. It is quite the sight, and your dad gets a kick out of announcing "Pineapple Time!" every time he looks into the kitchen to see me at the island, pineapple by the scruff of its leaves in one hand, carving knife in the other. I'm hoping this means you'll enjoy your fruits and veggies!

I have absolutely loved carrying you over these past nine months, and I have to admit that I am a bit sad to have this experience come to an end. Yesterday, as I felt your little foot push into the same spot that it always does, I suddenly got a lump in my throat at the realization that I won't be feeling that little foot much longer. It has been such an amazing feeling to know that you are always with me, and I cherish the moments when I am trying to fall asleep--or trying not to fall asleep in a meeting--and feel you moving. To say that I can't wait to meet you is such an understatement, but really...I am just so excited to finally see your face and hold you in my arms.

See you soon, little man.

Love, Mom

Big Brothers, Big Sisters, and Baby Sitters

As I approach my last three weeks of work, I can't help but reflect on how much I love my students. In my work, I have the privilege of getting to know so many awesome students on a personal level. Though the hours can be demanding, those chunks of time lead to lots of deep conversations and even more bouts of complete silliness. I love that when my students graduate I will call them my friends.

It has been particularly fun to share this experience of my pregnancy with them. From day one they have been thrilled for me and have wanted to know every detail. They helped me finalize his name (I literally did a poll with my entire Interfraternity Council on whether Riggins was cool or just asking to be the class nerd...and of course the guys loved the Lethal Weapon connection of Riggs!), compliment me on a day when I'm feeling particularly pregnant, and argue over which fraternity he will be in someday (Alpha Phi Alpha is ahead at the moment...if Riggs' movements are any indication, he loves their yard shows!)

A few memories of my students' involvement in my pregnancy are particularly special to me. First, the women of our Panhellenic sororities threw me a shower at one of the sorority houses last month. They planned the entire thing themselves (no help from advisors!), complete with an adorable cake and delicious food. Here are just a few of the girls who stopped by the shower:

Each sorority has their own colors and mascots, and it is so special that Riggins now has a little something that represents those groups: a lion outfit from Phi Mu, and a handmade teddy bear quilt from he ladies of Kappa Delta (one of their moms made it especially for Riggs!) to name a few. And of course he got some great University of Memphis gear too...he's ready to cheer on those Tigers!

My other favorite memory came a couple of weeks ago during our annual Greek Sing performance. One of the teams, Alpha Gamma Delta/FIJI/KA, centered their performance on a jailhouse theme. The Alpha Gams had been accused of stealing the Greek Sing trophy and were put in prison...and guess who their one phone call went to?


That's right! They called ME! Out came one of the fraternity men, decked out in a dress, heels, wig, and a bump. In a high pitched voice, he recited his line: "Excuse me, officer! Riggs and I are here to release the ladies of Alpha Gamma Delta! They didn't steal the Greek Sing trophy...they won it!" They won first place! (And, no, I was not a judge :)

Of course I had to snag a pic with my lookalike after the show (please excuse my awkward face...I was laughing too hard at the sight of my twin!). The spitting image, no?

Even though I won't be formally working as their Greek Advisor anymore, I know that Riggins has a whole crowd of big brothers and sisters waiting to meet him at the University of Memphis. And if there was ever a perk to this job, I have a feeling I'm about to tap into it:

BABY. SITTERS.

;)

Stop This Train

Last month, Jonathan and I splurged on one last "big" date night before the baby comes and went to hear John Mayer play at the FedEx Forum. As we made our way to the arena, we realized that it was March 19th.

Exactly three years ago, we said goodbye to MamaDot, Riggins' namesake.

We marvelled at how much has happened in those three years. In the blink of an eye we had gone from a very dark place in our lives--full of loss, full of change, full of uncertainty--to a beautiful, expectant time when all seems to be right with the world. Two moves, three states, two jobs, five schools, two careers. The loss of two more cherished family members. The pending arrival of another.

And it all happened so, so fast.

It was a bittersweet realization, feeling so much happiness, growth, and potential in this phase of our lives, while acknowledging that the loss and letting go are necessary accomplices to moving forward.

During that time three years ago, John Mayer's Continuum album was released, and two songs on that album particularly resonated with that phase of our lives: Stop this Train and Heart of Life. In the grand scheme of Mayer's work, pretty obscure songs, so I had no expectation that he would play them at the show that night.

He opened with some big, full-band selections, and after awhile transitioned to his accoustic guitar. And there in the silence of that big arena, that familiar, rhythmic undercurrent that sounds so much like a train chugging along the tracks began....



And if it couldn't get any better, he followed it with The Heart of Life...



And that was it. The only two accoustic songs he played all night. And it was as though he had been riding in the car with us and knew that those songs were exactly what we needed to hear on that sentimental evening. Missing loved ones, reflecting on our losses, contemplating how on earth we were about to become parents, and knowing that the train isn't going to stop anytime soon. Tears streamed down my face as I soaked up that moment, one hand in my husband's, the other on my growing son.

These last few weeks of pregnancy have surprised me with a few periods of sadness. An acknowledgement that these five years of marriage, of just the two of us, have been so sweet. We have really sucked the marrow out of the past five years and have no regrets as we begin this new chapter. And while I know that things are about to get even better than I could ever imagine, I occasionally have this slight panicked feeling that things are only going to go faster from here.

While there is more joy ahead, there is also more letting go.

While there is so much to gain, there is so much to lose.

When I want it all to slow down, I know it is going to fly by in the blink of an eye.

And yet that is life, right? The train doesn't stop. But I do know that the heart of life is good, and that is what makes it worth moving forward and embracing the next phase with open arms.

Thanks, John.

A New Title

Well, word on the street around here is that the Greek Advisor isn't coming back to work after her baby is born.

And the rumors are true.

Now that the cat is out of the bag in my world, I figured I could share it in my blog world too!

Throughout my pregnancy, I have kept an open mind about my options post-baby. I decided to look into childcare possibilities while not ruling out the possibility of staying home if circumstances allowed.

To make a very long story short, when you combine my measly salary (Yay, public higher education!) with my ridiculous hours (Yay, college students!), the cost of 8-to-5 childcare and all of babysitters I would need to cover nights and weekends would have eaten up a good 75 to 80 percent of my salary.

I really began to pray about the best option for our family, while also desiring to have integrity in how I handled the professional side of things. My colleagues are fantastic, and I wanted to leave them in the best position possible for a smooth transition, regardless of my choice.

So a couple of weeks ago, I met with Human Resources to arrange for my FMLA leave. To make another long story short, I discovered that I am not eligible for maternity leave at all. This is all due to the fact that my job was considered temporary for the first 10 months of my employment and only made permanent this past August. Essentially, my temporary employment days do not count toward the 12 months of employment necessary to be eligible for FMLA, and therefore I do not get maternity leave.

In many ways this was an answer to prayer: decision eliminated! Only one option remained, and so a couple of weeks ago I resigned from my job, effective April 30th. Which leaves me one month to plan a smooth transition with my colleagues and with my students. This has been a very bittersweet process for me. I love my job. I love my students. I love my coworkers. I love academia. I love the University of Memphis.

But. I don't love that tonight I will be working until 11 p.m. And that last weekend I worked Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. And that I am only home maybe two nights of the week. And that if I attempted to do this and raise my son, something--someone--would end up terribly neglected.

The entire business of negotiating work and family life, for me, has been a confusing one. My emotions and desires seem to change by the day, and I wrestled with these issues long before becoming pregnant.

Yet I've recently decided that, yes, I can have it all.

Just not all at once.

At some point, I would love to return to work...maybe even to school (that illusive Ph.D. still calls my name at times). And yet this season of my life, I know, is for Riggins. And while I still have a little anxiety over taking the plunge into stay-at-home-motherhood, I have a feeling that once I get this sweet boy in my arms I won't be able to imagine it any other way.