Rhett's Birth: Part I, My Marathon

If you haven't noticed from previous blog posts, I like to be detailed, primarily for my own memory's sake.  So here is Part I of Rhett's birth story, a little background on my thoughts leading up to his arrival...

I have no desire to run a marathon.  Lots of people do, including my husband.  Those who have the desire know that it is going to be difficult.  They know that it will require training and preparation.  They know that the race itself will be long, exhausting, and painful, full of temptations to throw in the towel and give up.  But at the end of the day, something drives them to follow through on that desire and to gain an experience that no one can ever take away from them.  For the rest of their lives they will have the personal satisfaction of knowing they did it.  

That's how I felt about natural childbirth.  

My experience of bringing Riggins into the world was beautiful.  I have absolutely no regrets about my decision to trust my gut and get an epidural.  A few minor complications during his delivery would have made for a very painful experience had I not had medication.  He was healthy and happy, I was healthy and happy, and I will always remember that day with pride and joy.  

This time, the more I looked forward to labor and delivery, the more I felt this inexplicable desire to experience a natural, unmedicated childbirth.  The marathon analogy is the closest I could come to explaining my motivations; I knew that it would be challenging, but it was a challenge I really wanted to face, just to know that I could do it.  And I realize that to many people that sounds absolutely sadistic and crazy!  Luckily, the marathon analogy was one that Jonathan could relate to, because it was difficult for him to imagine why I would want to have a natural birth after we had such a good experience with Riggins' delivery.  Thankfully, he could sense how important this was to me, so after a few long conversations he was fully on board and ready to prepare for this marathon along with me.  

The first step in this preparation was a commitment.  With Riggins, my mindset was that I would try for a natural delivery but be open minded to whatever needed to happen and not feel bad about it.  And honestly, that's the best possible attitude to have going into the birth of your child...if you don't really care about having a natural delivery.  Because the fact is, once you're actually in labor, you're going to want pain relief.  I reached the realization that in order have a natural delivery, you kind of have to decide that barring a medical emergency, you will refuse medication and intervention.  And honestly, it took me a few months to make that commitment to myself (and of course, that commitment would have been thrown out the window if medical necessity demanded!).  

We gathered resources from friends, reading both Husband Coached Childbirth and The Bradley Method Workbook as our primary guides.  While I personally felt that (like most information on childbirth and parenting) these books could be a bit extreme on the motivations for natural childbirth, they were still good resources for practical advice.  Having had a wonderful experience with a medicated delivery, and having tons of girlfriends whose childbirth experiences ran the gamut, I just couldn't stomach a lot of the "if you accept medication you and your baby will be in a drugged stupor" and blah blah blah.  So for the record, my motivation solely came down to my own desire for the experience, not any beliefs about a particular method of childbirth being better or worse for mom or baby.  

The most influential part of our preparation, however, was just talking to our many friends--mothers and fathers alike--to soak up as much advice as we could.  I chatted up my girlfriends at every opportunity, and Jonathan had several guys' nights over drinks to talk childbirth.  Beyond their advice, the best thing we gained from these conversations was encouragement. Having an entire cheering section repeatedly telling us that we could do it was invaluable, particularly towards the end when I felt I had done all the preparation I could possibly do.  

I experienced lots of doubt leading up to the big day.  Every time I got a particularly painful Braxton-Hicks contraction, I would immediately question my commitment and my ability to handle a natural delivery.  In those moments, I channeled the encouragement of my friends who had gone before, and tried to practice the relaxation techniques I had learned.  I also had committed to staying as active as possible as long as possible, as so much of the Bradley method centers on staying upright and active both during pregnancy and labor.  I attended Jazzercise until the day I went into labor, walked often, and did lots and lots of squats (pretty much if I needed to bend over for any reason, I squatted all the way to the floor instead of bending my back).  

All of that preparation, and especially that point of commitment, came into play as soon as my labor began.  As my contractions grew in intensity, I called out to Jonathan from the bathroom:

"Jonathan, I don't know if I can do this!"

And suddenly he was in the door of the bathroom saying, "Yes you can.  You are doing it.  You were born to do this."  

As it turns out, I was.  

To be continued...