Spa Treatment

Back in March, our staff moved in to the brand new University Center. The building is truly impressive, housing lots of great food options (a restaurant, along with Dunkin Donuts, Burger King, Taco Bell, a deli, sushi, pizza...basically a pregnant woman's heaven), a theatre, meeting spaces, a ballroom, a computer lab, student affairs offices, and student organizational space. It is truly a state-of-the-art facility.

Yet as with all new buildings, it still has a few kinks that creep up and require attention.

Two days ago, I visited the small bathroom that is tucked away in a hallway behind our offices. As I sat down on the toilet seat, I realized that it was somewhat toasty. Considering that the average toilet seat is on the chilly side, this new sensation was definitely noticed.

But in the short time that I sat on that seat, I soon realized that it was more than just a warm seat.

My seat was now warm.

I suddenly could not escape the fact that I felt steam on my hiney! I quickly finished my business and hopped up, only to turn around and see steam rising from the toilet! It was full of hot water!

I had pretty much just just received a hiney facial, courtesy of the University of Memphis physical plant.

Of course, for the rest of the day all the ladies in the office were buzzing about the steaming potties. But yesterday, we noticed that our favorite "spa" was closed off with caution tape. Apparently the steamy commodes had gotten out of hand.

In this morning's Division-wide staff meeting, we received an enlightening report. Apparently a student complained of being burned by a toilet on the 2nd floor. And to lodge her complaint, she burst into the UC office and proclaimed: "What are you going to do about my butt!?!"

And now here I sit. Trying to find a way to wrap this post into a neat, tidy package. But really, there are no words to summarize a post about steaming toilets and complaints about bootie burns. So I'm just going to hope that you are as amused as I am, and leave it at that.

The END.

(Hee hee. Get it? The END?)

I love puns.