Slow News Day

I learned the following on the Today Show this morning...

• You too can own a teacup pig as a pet for the low price of $1000. They recommend buying two so that they don't get lonely. Well, of course!
• A woman was viciously attacked by 5 racoons. Racoon mamas will fight to the death for their babies. Don't mess with 'em. And don't feed 'em, either.
• A teenager escaped from detention and has been on a burglary spree ever since, most recently stealing a plane. Catch me if you can!
• Your kitchen is the most germ-infested room in your house. And every food you could even think of eating is most likely contaminated and very, very risky. We should probably all just drink Ensure and Slim Fast for all of our nutritional needs, just to play it safe. (Ok, so that last part I made up...but seriously people! If God has ordained for me to die at the hand of a delicious raw milk cheese or unpeeled potato, so be it!)
• Washing your hands really does make a difference. (Whaaa!?! You are blowing my mind, Ann Curry!)

Slow news day, NBC?

Slang Time

There are lots of perks to working with college students. I am always in-the-know on the latest pop and rap stars, the biggest Top 40 hits, and the latest trends in fashion. I find out where great sales are happening at the cute local boutiques that the sorority women frequent, and I hear about the best deals on great food from the sorority men.

One of my favorite perks is keeping up with the latest slang. It is easy to notice new words as you hear them day-to-day, but when you spend a month working morning 'til night with students you really start to notice the trends in popular vernacular.

Allow me to share a few of the latest slang trends on campus...

Bobo: Not to be confused with a toddler-friendly term referencing a bottom, behind, or buttocks, bobo refers to something that is not legitimate, not as good, or a fake. For example, when the fraternity men thought they were buying Chick Fil A chicken biscuits from the Tiger Den, they realized that they were Aramark chicken biscuits instead. Thus, they returned declaring that they were "bobo chicken biscuits," or "those chicken biscuits were bobo."

Skeezer: Ladies, this is not a compliment. Skeezer is a term describing a woman who makes her way through a fraternity house...if you know what I mean. Enough said. It is words like this that make an ole Greek Advisor think twice before asking, "What does that mean???" Sometimes you just don't want to know!

Fail: Now this one is self-explanatory, but with fail it is all about the delivery. For example, one fraternity man tells a bad joke to the rest of the bunch. Another man will respond, "Fail." but in a deadpan, somewhat exasperated tone, often accompanied by an eyeroll. This can also be used following an embarassing moment, a mistake, or anything else that someone has screwed up. If it was really bad... "Epic Fail."

So there you have it. Just a few of the latest word fads to cross my path. Use them in a sentence today. Actually...scratch that. I really hope you don't ever have to use the word skeezer in your adult, non-fraternity house visiting life. If that is ever necessary in your world...well....

FAIL.

A Lil Lonesome

I am really missing my friends today.

It is one of those days--cool, crisp, sunny--that calls for a chai latte, a patio, and a good chat with a dear friend.

And even though we do have some friends here in Memphis, today I need some history.

Some understanding.

Without fear of being misunderstood. Without need to clarify or provide background. Without leaving and wondering how I came across or if we would be friends outside of these circumstances.

Skip the small talk. Skip the surface-skimming.

Today I am counting the days until our next reunion. And sipping a chai, alone, but thankful that I have dear friends to miss.

(To my fellow OBUers out there...doesn't fall just make you miss Bison Hill a bit? I wish I could skip work like we used to skip class to hang out in the GC on a nice day).

Minutia

Life is a bit nutty right now, which always translates to a blog full of bullets.

• Our computer was attached by a vicious virus that wiped it out for a good two weeks. It is still not the same. Combined with my overloaded work schedule, the lack of computer access and time has led to a lack of blog postings. I will make up for it soon...promise! This is also why you never saw any more vacation photos. We are hoping they were spared the wrath of the virus.

• Jonathan and I spent the weekend in Fort Smith and Midwest City where we celebrated my belated birthday and my father-in-law's 35th year of ministry at the same church. It was a really sweet time with both of our families, and it reminded me how lucky we are to have such amazing parents. 35 years in ministry at one church is pretty extraordinary, and for those of you Oklahoma Baptists out there you will appreciate that my father-in-law now has the longest tenure of any music minister in Oklahoma and that Bill Green even showed up on Sunday morning to do a special tribute to him! We are all so proud of Tom and the amazing investment he has made in that community.

• I think Fall is finally coming to Memphis. After two weeks of muggy, rainy, mess, we awoke to a crisp, sunny morning. The hubby is pulling out my fall decorations tonight and the "Fall-ification" process will commence as soon as possible. To Do: hit the mall for a Tyler Candle Company "Homecoming" candle. A fall home is not complete without it!

• Greek recruitment is finally over! No more 7 a.m. to 2 a.m. days! No more cheering! No more free food from fraternity houses! Ok, I'm actually sad about that one. Those boys can grill! I will still be working a lot of nights and weekends, because let's face it...I work with college students. But I sure am glad this month is over! I'm pretty sure the hubs and I re-introduced ourselves to each other last Thursday night. It has been a long month.

• Did you know that if you let a sweet potato hang out in your pantry while you go on a two week vacation that it will sprout little green things? And that if you plant that potato in a container on your front porch those little green things will turn into a beautiful trailing vine? It is true.

• I miss Braums.

Cool Wife Points

For all you married women out there (or those who plan to be...take notes!), I want to share a brilliant concept with you:

Cool Wife Points.

Essentially, Cool Wife Points are earned when you do something really awesome for your husband that you might not have otherwise done and it results in the reaction of, "Dude, my wife is awesome" from your man.

Potential opportunities for earning Cool Wife Points include participating in an activity you don't love (a sporting event? camping?), choosing to play it cool in a situation that would normally make you crazy, and in general busting the stereotype of a high-maintenance, nagging wife.

Ladies, I am going to rack up some MAJOR Cool Wife Points this weekend. You see, this Sunday marks my 27th year on the planet. But it also marks the only weekend that my husband's best friend since childhood could come to visit. And it marks a home weekend for the St. Louis Cardinals as they take on the Chicago Cubs. And did I mention that Hubby and his BFF's favorite shared pasttime is following baseball?

Oh, and I have to work on Sunday. Fraternity recruitment. Yippee!

So if you put all that together, I am spending my birthday weekend alone as Hubby and Co. hit I-51 for a whirlwind trip to The Lou and top that off with a bunch of collegiate fraternity men. Dream come true, right girls?

Here's the deal. I could pout. I could complain. And my man would drop his plans in a second if I asked him to reserve my birthday weekend for me alone. In the end, we will celebrate my birthday eventually. And he will get to soak up quality time with a friend he hardly ever gets to see. And he will get to take a break from his crazy school schedule to enjoy some guy time at the ball park. So is it really worth it? Not at all.

And besides, how awesome do I look when he double-checks his plans with me and I nonchalantly shrug my shoulders and say, "Sure, babe! That sounds great. You guys are going to have an awesome time and we can celebrate later"? Pretty darn awesome.

Way cooler than the pouty wife on the couch. And my Cool Wife Points go through the roof!

So get out there and start earning some Cool Wife Points! I wish I could say that there is some sort of prize bank from which you can earn designer handbags and spa treatments for your efforts, but I'm afraid you'll just have to earn them out of the goodness of your heart.

Of course, a killer birthday present is also a good way to redeem those points.

Jonathan?

Are you reading???

Hello?????

Bid Day Hangover

Yesterday was Bid Day at the U of M, and boy am I pooped.

I felt pretty good throughout the week, despite working ridiculous hours; on the Eve of Bid Day after Preference Night, I was at work until 3 a.m. Madness, I tell you! But I made it through with a reasonable amount of energy and a smile on my face.

Today, however, is a different story. Do not cross me. Do not drive your car towards me real fast when it is raining and then slow down just in time to let me cross the street but still spray me with mucky rainwater. I will use profanity toward you. (Um what? No, of course this hasn't already happened today! I'm just using a hypothetical example!)

I am a grumpy, sleepy, moody bear who is in desperate need of a couch, a blanket, a chick flick, and a nice long hibernation. Steer clear, people.

(Unless, of course, you are bringing me comfort food, blankets, chick flicks, mindless magazines, or good excuses to leave work early. You folks are welcome any time.)

Help!

I have been kidnapped by sorority women and forced into slave labor for a process they call Formal Recruitment (or Rush, if you're old school like that). The hours are killer and filled with chanting, cheering, singing, kneeling. It leaves little room for communication with the non-Greek world, but my plan for escape is in process.

Do not give up on me. Bid Day is Sunday, and I will be FREE!