Burned

Last night I had the unfortunate experience of learning yet another new slang word.

Each year, a student organization on campus holds an event called "Real Talk" during which students perform skits portraying hot button issues. Those skits are followed by a time of open discussion from the floor, and then comments from a panel of "experts." I sat on the panel last year and thoroughly enjoyed it, so when they asked me back this year I readily accepted.

The first skit of the evening was related to relationships and depicted a male student who was verbally abusive to his girlfriend. As you can imagine, the discussion that followed was dominated by female students who were pretty feisty in their descriptions of being an "independent woman" who "doesn't need a man" and so on. All very true, of course, but there was a hardness to their comments that left me slightly concerned.

When it came time for the panelists to comment, my colleague and I were very much on the same page. She began by sharing that independence is different than what the radio might tell us. I followed up by agreeing that, yes, while those independent power woman anthems are awesome for post-breakup catharsis, it is important to remember that Beyonce does have a ring on it and that relationships are a necessary and beneficial aspect of our lives. (The crowd of R&B loving college students loved that one and I enjoyed a brief moment of pride for being relevant to my audience...still got it!).

As I wrapped up my point, I told the group that we must resist the defensive tendency to become so tough and independent that we neglect the fact that there is room in the life of every independent woman for healthy, affirming relationships. "So," I concluded, "no matter how many times you get burned..."

And that's when the giggled began. I kept going, but it didn't matter. The giggles turned to laughter, and soon the laughter turned to a roar.

I stopped, "Did I say something funny?"

Another coworker on the panel whispered, "Just keep going." And so I wrapped up quickly and we moved on to the next panelist.

"What did I say!?!" I whispered urgently to my friend, feeling totally clueless but already embarassed.

"Well, burned is slang for catching a sexually transmitted disease," he explained.

Oh. My. Word.

I had just told a crowd of college students not to get hard toward relationships, no matter how many STDs you catch! Awesome.

So much for still being relevant.

Oh, and I learned one other new slang word last night. If you say that someone is "goin'" it means that he or she is sleeping around or down for hooking up. For example, "That girl is dressed like a hootchie mama...she's goin'!" Who even knew!?! Where I come from if you are "goin' together" you are boyfriend and girlfriend, not sleeping together!

Apparently I was a little too innocent for this crowd. And for the record, I am completely fine with that!